


Even If It Breaks Your Heart

by Msnephilimxtheskyisburning (clindzy)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Angsty Schmoop, Clueless!Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Manager Crowley, Past Relations, Reunions, Stripper!Castiel, Stripper!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clindzy/pseuds/Msnephilimxtheskyisburning
Summary: Dean is part of an exclusive performance troupe, the  Midnight Cowboys   and he has everything he's ever dreamed of: fame, family and success. Life as he knows it becomes something else entirely when his partner is injured and his replacement is someone that he's willed himself to forget repeatedly. Unfortunately, Crowley didn't get that memo. Now, he's saddled with a partner that has been the only person to make him feel anything other than pain in seventeen years.Only time will tell if his dreams will break his heart or finally make him whole.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an idea I snagged from the Destiel Fanfic Writers and Readers Facebook Group, and I decided to give my hand at trying to write Destiel. I hope I do Fran's idea justice!

Dean blows out a breath, trying to relieve the frustration that’s lodged in his chest - of all times for Jake to be careless and reckless. Now he was without his partner for the indefinite future  _ and _ he had to allow Crowley to pick their replacement. Not for the first time, Dean wished it had been someone else that had broken their leg, but no, Jake just had to take that trip to Vermont with that hot blonde thing that breathed fire and just one look at her and Jake was over his head in lust.

Crowley hadn’t done a bad job at rounding out their revue group, the  _ Midnight Cowboys _ , Dean supposes. Maybe he should give the crotchety bastard the benefit of the doubt. He did pick Dean, so the man clearly has some eye for talent.

Before he can dwell on it any further, however, Crowley is barging into his hotel room with his customary half knock and full blown smirk.

“Dean, my boy, I’ve found the perfect replacement for you,” Crowley says with a gleam in his eye.

_ Shit, take that back about the benefit of the doubt,  _ Dean thinks to himself. He knows that look far too well, has seen it grace him one too many times to call it anything but altruistic. There are other words his mind supplies: conniving, slick, devious.

Dean sighs, the tension in his body palpable. “Just spit it out,” he says shortly, eyes flashing dark emerald in the late morning sunlight.

Clearly, Crowley knows that he’s getting to his best performer and prods at him a little harder. “Why, you’re not grateful that I found someone so quickly, that actually has the talent and prestige to be paired with you? I’m truly wounded by your lack of faith in me.”

And his manager actually has the nerve to pout at him, obviously wanting to sell this farce of mock injury.

“Cram it,” Dean replies wearily, standing up from the too hard chair and crosses to the dresser where he stashed a pint of Jack Daniel’s. If he couldn’t have Jake, well, at least Jack was still there to offer him comfort.

Crowley raises his eyebrows at Dean drinking so early in the day but chooses not to utter a word. Only Dean knows his body best and if a drink will help him to accept a new partner for their group, then so be it. It’s not as if he has room to pass judgment - his scotch is closer to him than any woman or man has been in the last ten years.

“Have it your way, cowboy,” Crowley returns smoothly. He swipes the bottle from Dean’s hand and takes a swig himself, grimacing at the oaky taste.

 

Dean glares at his boss for the intended insult and innuendo. “Just get to the point, already, for Christ’s sake.”

 

Crowley perches on the writing table and crosses his arms, assessing his best performer and how badly losing Jake has upset him. He decides to give Dean only a version of the truth - it will be the replacement performer’s and his little secret.

Smirking and flashing a bit of teeth at Dean, Crowley begins to tell him about the wonder that is Castiel, including his penchant for playing with fire in his routines and having odd taste in music.

 

“His stage name is Dmitri?! And fire is so played out,” Dean says dismissively.

 

“Out of everything I just told you, that’s what you focus on. How professional, Dean. I expect you to give him a warm welcome and welcome him to the  _ Cowboys _ right.” Crowley’s intense brown eyes meet Dean’s, breaking contact once he sees Dean nod, albeit reluctantly. 

“Good. Now that we’re on the same page, you can expect your new partner sometime in the next several hours. Play nice, Dean.” 

Dean glares at his manager again. The man never quits with his horrendous puns and double entendres.

Dean is a professional, down to his bones, and he will treat Castiel/Dmitri with respect that being a fellow performer demands. But no one said anything about him liking the guy; Dean is pretty sure that he will be nowhere near as good as Jake or that they’ll have a single thing in common.

 

Crowley chuckles to himself as he strolls down the hall, punching the button for the elevator with his blunt index finger. Poor Dean is in for the ride of his life and he has no idea.

 

Swigging another mouthful of whiskey, Dean pulls clothes out from his dresser and heads for the overly white bathroom to take a hot shower and drown out his inner monologue, if only for a short while. 

And if decides to dress in his best ass hugging jeans as an ego boost and impress the new guy, then that’s between him and God.

Thirty minutes later Dean is putting the finishing touches on his hair, he is a performer after all - it’s ingrained in him to always look his best. Adjusting his black tee for the third time, he’s rudely interrupted from fantasizing a face to go with such an intriguing name.

 

“Hold on a second, I’m coming,” Dean says loudly to whoever is knocking at the door.

To the person on the other side of the door, they only hear a voice muffled by thick wood.

 

Dean jerks the door open and all the color drains out of his face.

 

“Hello, I’m Castiel,” the man greets Dean politely.

 

Just when Dean thought life couldn’t get any more complicated, he gets one more fastball slung his way and this one came out of left field, from way past the homerun fence.

 

“Please come in,” Dean croaks.

 

Castiel moves slowly into the room, head tilted in concern at his new partner’s current state. “You look like you have seen a ghost.”

 

Dean mutters under his breath, “Something like that.”

 

Castiel’s brows furrow in confusion. 

 

Dean sees the confusion as plain as day on Castiel’s face. He doesn’t remember Dean in the slightest; that only serves to bruise his ego further.

 

Setting his luggage on the unclaimed bed, Castiel attempts to engage Dean again, hoping that he might explain what is going on here.

“Need to get some air,” Dean forces out, his lungs burning with that familiar scent that seventeen years has done nothing to fade or dull, unable to draw air if his life depended on it.

 

“But. . .” Castiel protests.

 

Whatever else his new roommate and partner is attempting to say is lost between the barricade that is their door and the walls Dean is forcing back up around his heart.

Dean runs down the three flights of stairs, black spots appearing before his eyes and dizzy from the lack of oxygen that seeing Castiel again has caused. Finally, he makes it outside, drawing in gulps of air. 

Castiel frowns deeply at his new partner’s abrupt departure. Surely, it can’t be something he said. He knows he has the tendency to ramble or become awkward but he stuck to a polite greeting just as Crowley had suggested in his interview/audition three days ago. So, what is it about him that had Dean running straight for the hills when his own manager practically gushed how friendly his most talented performer was? 

Castiel bites his bottom lip as his nerves get the better of him. Perhaps he should just call Crowley and tell him this whole thing is off.

 

“What the hell were you thinking, Crowley?” Dean growls at his manager once he picks up the phone.

“Hello to you too, Dean,” Crowley answers in a bored drawl.

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Dean demands, voice rising another octave as his anger is further exacerbated by Crowley’s lack of concern.

“Now why would you think that, my dear boy?” Crowley smirks on the other end of the line, knowing something that both Dean and Castiel know but Castiel fails to see its significance. One of life’s plot twists - Castiel openly talked to him about being gay after the formal interview was over and one experience with an up and coming performing almost twenty years ago was the reason. Only Dean had ever used Castiel’s name; Crowley thinks that Castiel doesn’t even remember that young man’s name from that memorable experience.  _ Funny how people have a way of finding each other _ , he muses. Crowley hadn’t even put two and two together - it was Castiel’s stage name ‘Dmitri’ that came across his desk a week ago. He hadn’t known it was the Castiel that Dean had drunkenly blathered about until he met the tall, dark haired, fiery blue eyed man in person.

“Because. . .” Dean’s voice trails off as he can’t bring himself to talk about this again with Crowley. His manager might be a devious bastard but he wouldn’t intentionally hurt Dean, especially with something like this.

“Get your head out of your ass. You have rehearsal in an hour,” his boss says briskly.

Dean simply disconnects the call. There are no words for the anguish and fury boiling in him right now. He refuses to let it affect his professionalism, and soon he’s making his way back upstairs to the only man that’s ever made him feel anything other than pain.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at offermethatdeathlessdeathgoodgod.  
> Comments and kudos keep me inspired <3.  
> Updates may be slow but I will NOT abandon this story.   
> Keep an eye out for the playlist that will be added to the fic as we delve into the story.   
> I look forward to reading your comments and meeting all of my readers :).


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